Russian Dessert

On the lighter side of things...

This is a picture of what I was served for dessert the other day.  I don't need to say it, I'm sure you all know what they resemble.  I was hesitant to eat it but decided to go for it since there have been times in the past when a unaesthetically pleasing piece of food actually turns out to be delicious. You'd think this would have to be necessary since most people wouldn't choose to eat it based on its looks. 

In the end it wasn't very good.  Tasted like shit.

The good times

Back in 2005-06 when i was just a pup in this company, working in Grande Prairie, we hosted a couple of Russian employees that were even newer than I was.  Looking back on that time now I see how hard of an experience it must have been for them when their English was as rough as my Russian.  I ran into one of the guys I had worked with back then a few months ago and, at first, didn't even recognize him. He had to remind me of the time in GP and when I finally realized who he was I was surprised to see such a different person.  In Canada, he was very quiet, seemingly unconfident and a bit slower at picking up the job.  Now, I see him in his role as a manager overseeing operations in most of the eastern part of Russia.  I'm sure he was always this type of person but you can easily get a different impression of someone when working in unfamiliar situations and countries. 

The other day, I met the other Russian guy that worked with us back in Canada and we had a good chance to catch up with what each of us has been doing since our time working together.  The stories that come from this company are amazing...I move from Canada to US to Russia, and these guys from Canada to Algeria to Congo and then back to Russia.  I like hearing all the different places everyone's been to, the situations we've gotten ourselves into and realizing all the people that you both know from around the world.  This is an experience that would be hard to find in most other companies. 


I found out that these guys are either married, or have been, both with kids and I think about the things that maybe I'm missing out in my life....like having a dog.

It's been an up and down ride with this company and at times it feels like it's not worth it but running into old friends in a country on the other side of the world is a good feeling.

Countdown to a break

Even though overall I'm enjoying my posting in Russia and, outside of work, am quite happy living here work is starting to wear on me.  It has been non-stop since I arrived and even though I made it back to the states for my brother's wedding in November, I wouldn't call that much of a break.  I have a countdown on my desktop to the day I leave for a training course in France.  Only 19 days away from a course that's actually supposed to prepare me for the job I started over 4 months ago.  Can't wait to see how wrong I've been doing it.  I used to always get excited to take a course because it meant a break from the field, meeting with old friends, and a bit of partying.  It's safe to say sometimes we didn't really learn much from our training.  This course, however, I am actually very interested in and, maybe as a sign of maturing, I will be taking it more seriously.  I will, however, still make the most of my week in Paris. 

Following the course I booked a few days off to meet with a good friend in the french Alps for some snowboarding, light drinking, relaxing and general shenanigans (a sign of my lasting immaturity).  My one concern is that theski resort we're going to has not had much snow this year and even the official resort site that is always exaggerating the positives of the area to increase its visitors is saying it desperately needs snow!!  I'll give it a shot anyway and at least I can blame my terrible snowboarding skills on the lack of snow. 

As I mentioned, Russia has been a wonderful surprise and just like I've had to explain to certain people that Canada is not igloos and eskimos (you know who you are, americans) that Siberia is not Ice and polar bears.  I'd encourage everyone to come to Russia, skip Moscow ;) and visit one of the many great regions/cities in Siberia.  Having said that I still look forward to switching my current temporary living quarters and view from ...



Current on-site quarters (Note: This is not a hotel in Siberia, I'm only in here because of work)



Current view



 To This...

winter paradise - not too distant future

One of my managers invited me to join the big wigs of our Segment's organization in Russia for a business review.  The meeting was to take place in a small cabin resort area outside of Moscow.  The reasoning i'm sure was to keep most of these guys (and myself) away from the distractions and temptations of the Moscow nightlife and risk us not making it back to the meetings in the morning....and it would have happened. 

The resort was a very nice setup deep into the trees about an hour from the city.  It was a bit of a town in itself, on the edge of a lake, log cabin accomodations, Russian security not letting anyone in or you out, and the option of quads, snowmobiling, paintballing...etc, all things that our company forbid us to do.  All that we were allowed to take in was 2 days of financial and operational review presentations.  So, although it was a nice resort there was no time to experience it. 

It was good to see the side of the business that I'm not used to dealing with so all-in-all it was a good experience until the very end when thye decided to send me to my one of my most favorite winter destinations of Pyt-Yakh to supervise a few engineers on the job. Since everything in the oilfield has to happen immediately, I was going to have to travel through the night to get to the location on time.  I wasn't looking forward to the flight but when I was checking in the ticketing agent mentioned to a coworker, and fellow traveller (Russian) that we would be sitting right behind The Maria Sharipova. 

I was happy he told us because I would never recognize her if I didn't know she was going to be there.  So, as I was waiting in the bus on the tarmac that was going to take us to the plane (don't ask) I was searching the crowd for the woman I thought would best resemble Ms. Sharapova.  I couldn't find a match but I searched the crowd so throughly that I found another celebrity.  I was now also going to be sharing the plane with Darth Vader.  He was standing right in front of me, I couldn't believe it.  Now, I had my doubts since he allegedly died a long time ago in a galazy far, far away and he's also rumoured to be a fictional character but the man standing right in front of me looked exactly like this...(minus the mouthpiece and scars)

In the end, there I came to the conclusion that it couldn't possibly be Darth Vader because he was way too young and Maria also didn't end up being on the plane so the whole thing was a bust and my 'Rescuing Maria from Darth's evil clutches and eloping together to Russian Tennis paradise' dream scenario was dashed.

The Food

Raw Deer meat and Caviar

Sollyanka a.k.a Meat Soup a.k.a Hot Dog Soup and always known as delicious

BeerKa (don't ever eat it)

'Beef's Neck' Pizza

Borscht and Cheese bread

Black Vodka  -It's not a race thing

The Standard

Best combination ever?

Tyumen in Pictures

Plaza in the Summer and my apartment

Gypsy Market

Playing Soccer in -25C

The fold down seats in the plane to Tyumen

Keewee and appul (delicacy only found in Russia)

Luxury train compartment

Tyumen Plaza in winter

Me and Ice

I think I'm done with trains in Russia... (Originally posted Feb 7/2011)

On this last business trip I decided to travel home by train, the same one as in one of my earlier posts.  Each of the last times though I either had a compartment to my own or shared it with a co-worker.   This time I had the opportunity to share the compartment with a local Russian.

First impressions weren’t so good because right after a quick introduction this guy dropped trou right in front me to change into some comfortable ‘train clothes’.  Unfortunately, when you’re sitting in a 6×4 cabin you can look as far away in the other direction as possible but you  see everything in your peripheral vision.
The experience improved after that as he turned out to be like almost every other person i’ve met out here …friendly and eager to speak with a foreigner.  The amount of persistance that a Russian person who does not speak english will put into having a conversation with me is astounding.  It also helped that he kept buying rounds of beer, and in the end we somehow spoke for 4 hours. Incredibly we discussed a range of topics such as politics, religion, holidays,canada/russia (differences and similarities), our families, our work, travel plans for the year.  There were a few points in the conversation where neither of us could get our point across to the other so just would just sit in silence, take a few sips of beer and eat some of the snacks he had brought with him.  I was introduced to a product called ‘Beerka’ and it is basically dehydrated calamri (or calamari jerky).  I’ve never been a big fan of fish but I’ve enjoyed some calamari in  my day so I went for it.  The first bite was ok but the intense fishy flavor that followed for next 5 minutes of chewing was so intense that I felt it in my toes.  This quickly became my motivation to keep the conversation going as I wouldn’t be able to handle many rounds of calamari jerky.  I went to the failsafe topic between Russians and Canadians…

‘like, hockey?’

Instead of the expected approving response I only received a blank stare as he continued to eat beerka like it was candy. I repeated the question with different tones, pitches, stresses about four times until I realized I was either saying it wrong which is hard to believe because the translation of hockey from english to russian is……hockey, or I had found the only Russian that didn’t know what hockey was.  great, more calamari please.

I tried explaining ‘hockey’ by including the word ‘sport’ and pretending to take a slapshot.  His answer was ‘sport?’ nyet, nyet..sport in Russia is Bania and beer’. Even though it was a joke I guess I won’t be playing any sports in Russia since the last time i played the ‘Bania’ game, i definitely lost.  (reference new year’s post re: bania)

The last topic he tried to start a discussion on was…

‘russia ya, no russia’   – how would you respond?

Gypsy Market (Originally posted: Jan. 27/2011)

I cross through an outdoor market during my walk to and from work and, not only do the vendors work rain or shine but even from +30 to -30. It’s very impressive that they can spend the entire day outside selling their products but they also wear some serious winter gear.

The one stand that seems the most out of place sells women’s underwear..I can’t see there being much demand for those while outside in -25 degree weather but maybe that’s how victoria’s secret got its start.

Moscow Airport Bombing (Originally posted: Jan. 25/2011)

As you may already know, yesterday in one of the major airports in Moscow there was an explosion, allegedly due to a suicide bomber. 35 people were killed and 180 injured. It’s a sad moment here but thankfully neither myself nor any of my colleagues we’re in the area at the time.

Originally posted Jan. 24/2011

I sat down with a few younger employees the other day during a coffee break and they had asked me how old I was, and followed by asking if I was married. I laughed and said ‘no way!’. This was possibly too strong of a reaction because as I looked around the room with at these 23, 24, 25 year-old KIDS and I was getting confused looks on their faces.

‘why do you say ‘no way’?’


Ah shit. so i asked ‘married? yes. And you married? yes…and let me guess, you’re married too? yes. ‘
A discussion later with someone who was not married explained the long history of Russians being married around the age of 22. I’ll have to tone down my reactions from now on.

Originally posted: Jan. 19/2011

The re-occuring theme in these entries is language. Since I deal with it everyday it has become a big source of education, frustration and some humour. Moving to a foreign country and living in very remote areas where there is almost no possibility of english reminds me of early childhood.

The first thing is the way I communicate with a non-english speaker. Complete sentences are useless and the chance of getting your message across is greatly improved by only including the important words in a conversation. This is a typical conversation for me with some of the employees….

‘David, you live Canada?’
‘yes, Canada’

‘How like Russia?’
‘Like Russia, very good. You live city, here?’
‘No, live (some undiclosed town) far’
 ‘David, family?’

‘Family, Canada. You, family?’
 ‘Yes. wife, boy, girl, home’
 ‘Ok’
- long silence……

‘Hockey….like?’
‘yes, like hockey’

Also, if the language gets to be too much then almost everything, can be answered with with a series of grunts/sound effects and hand signals, as I’m sure I did when I was young. So far, I have struggled but have been able to get what I need without resorting to throwing a fit and crying hysterically, but i’m not above it.
I’ve been very appreciative of the way I’m taken care of here but the reference to my childhood didn’t really click in until recently when I was travelling with an operator and an young female training engineer, fresh out of university to a wellsite in Siberia. The operator (driver) did not speak much english, but the girl spoke it fairly well and was well used as a translator during the trip. At one pit stop, this ~ 22-year old girl turned to me and said..

‘David, you need use toilet? ‘

‘I’m 28 years old, I would have said something if i needed to….oh wait, there it is. Yes, I suppose i do.’

Russian Language Course

My company covers the cost for all us Ex-Pats to take a Russian language course. It’s designed in a way to learn the essentials so you can meet people, eat, get around and get some help in emergency situations. The demands from work limits the amount of time I can study and practice, but the teacher tells me the best way to learn is to get a Russian girlfriend and shoots me a smile.

The class can be useful but sometimes borders on the impractical. We’ve gone through letters, numbers, common sayings and it’s a lot of back and forth to get my pronunciation down. Every once in while though, she will take a question or answer and just run with it, spitting out 4-5 phrases in some sort of unclear russian explanation that she expects me to understand. I nod my head to get through it and i find that she is satisfied if i repeat the last word that she says, and then write it down.

The other day I learned the Russian word for Eggplant. It’s spelled ‘Baklaжan’. This should really come in handy when I decide to buy the first, and only, eggplant that I’ll ever buy in my life. Or, I could possibly end up in an emergency situation where the only way to save a life, or stop the bus, or put out a fire is through the strategic use of an eggplant.

OR, if i find myself on Russian Jeopardy and the answer in the final round is about a magical vegetable that can be described as having a pleasantly bitter taste and spongy texture and comes from the same family as tomatoes, potatoes and sweet peppers. Too easy

A little piece of Canada (Originally posted: Jan. 6/2011)

On the ride home from this last russian wellsite, about a 4 hour drive, I was the passenger to a friendly operator and his english was good enough to have 2-3 one line conversations. At the point when our conversation had faded he told me to look in the glove comparment as there was music there and I could put in any tape I wanted.

Well, I went through the miserable collection of Papa Roach, Bloodhound, Crazy town tapes and thinking I would be forced to listen to one of them. But, in the bottom of the pack was a mix tape of all Bryan Adams songs. I was so pleased to see that bit of Canadiana in the middle of my Russian world. I picked up the tape, looked at the operator I was driving with, and pointed at the tape saying ‘Canada, Canada’. I had to play the tape now that I had gotten so excited about it and in the middle of the first run through I realized this mix had more of B. Adams slower love ballad type songs than I remembered. Thankfully this was not one of the crew members form the ‘sauna incident’ so I wasn’t adding more fuel to the fire but it was starting to get a little uncomfortable listening to that type of music in the oilfield and only worse, in the Russian oilfield. I was getting some glances my way wondering why I chose this type of music for us to listen to BUT THEN..
on comes Summer of ’69 to save the day. He started asking me who was this artist, and if he’s really canadian..i could tell he had become a fan. How couldn’t you? So we spent the whole ride home ‘Waking up the Neighbours’. A few days later and he’s still asking me about Bryan Adams.

Heading back to the city now, Russian Xmas tomorrow and a little bit of down time to enjoy the weekend.

What did YOU do for New Year's (Originally posted: Jan. 1/2011

Today starts the 10 day long russian holiday…unfortunately since I am not Russian, and am not in the office right now I don’t have the priviledge of receiving 10 days off.  I did, however, get to celebrate new year’s eve and new year’s day in an unique way.

Last night, while staying on at a wellsite we gathered our crew and hosted as much of a new year’s party as we could.  The guys made up an assortment of meats, cheese, pastries, fruit, and bread (always bread) that they had brought along in case we spent the holiday away from town.  The promise was to include the vodka once we got back, so we substituted that with juice.

Each person took their chance to say goodbye to 2010 and recap on the good and bad and mention how they would like to start 2011.  I was surprised to hear how open these guys were about some of the struggles they had in the past year.  It’s the last chance to let it all out be midnight and then leave it in 2010. My piece was that I had a few ups and downs this year but that I was very lucky.  I was living the good life in the US and luckily avoided a huge tragedy but it still managed to change my life situation…and then, one day, i received an email saying ‘Welcome To Russia’ and I was pleased to be in the country and look forward to starting clean in 2011 as it has been a big learning curve with work, language, life so far these past few months.  We finished the night with a few more juice toasts and that was that.

New year’s day was less than ideal but still managed to have a new russian experience.  Since we had been on this wellsite for a few days, and we knew nothing would get done work wise because of the holiday we went to a nearby ‘camp’ to get a hot meal and shower up.  The guys were preparing me for Russian ‘Bania’ which has different meanings but is basically sitting in a steam room and then sometimes followed by jumping into a freezing cold body of water.  This setup didn’t have the cold water but showers instead which was ok because I was overdue.  As in north america, it’s normal for a few guys, fully undressed to sit in the sauna/steam room together but it just doesn’t feel as normal when you’re still out at a wellsite.  I went with it though and was last to enter the steam room. The operating crew were trying to make me feel welcome and told me to come up and sit beside them.  I had no towel with me and wondered if the seat would be hot but there wasn’t much I could do about it at that point so I went up and sat down.  The seat was more than hot which caused me to jump up, and thanks to the low ceiling I hit my head on the roof. This then forced me back down and I guess I had shifted over a bit because I landed with direct leg to leg contact with my naked co-worker.  Of course this was embarassing, I couldn’t sit down again, I couldn’t stand due to the roof so I stayed in a half-squatting, bent over position while the operator ran out and got me one of his extra towels to sit on.  I didn’t even try to explain or apologize to these guys as the only english they knew was my name.  The rest of the day was spent with the crew eating and watching Russian movies about war.

Good start to 2011.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year (Originally posted: Dec. 31/2010)

I spent christmas working in the shop and new year’s out at a Russian wellsite.  Not a holiday to remember so i’ll talk about other things.  Soon I will hopefully be back in Tyumen to celebrate what is left of the holiday.   So instead of talking about what i’ve done this holiday, here’s the post i promised about the night life in Russia….
The night scene is a lot like back home, pubs, bars, clubs..but the ones here are filled with Russian girls, therefore it’s good.

ENTRY SYSTEM:

In Tyumen, the entry system into the night clubs is called ‘face control’.  There is no real dress code but face control allows the bouncer to look at you and decide whether he wants to let you in the club.  For the most part we have no problems but this one club ‘Grunge’, supposedly the best club in the city has denied us access every time.  Now we just go there as a bit of a laugh to get rejected again and head to the next place.  It’s a very quick process getting shut out..the bouncer opens the door, says hi, looks you up and down and just says ‘no’.  then before you can even try to throw out some russian or english words in an attempt convince him to let you in, he shuts the door.  Me and a buddy got the door closed on us but right behind us has a shaved head and came up wearing something like a westling type of tank top, black army boots.  Mda me think of skinhead ballerina or something.  Either way, no matter how ridiculous he looked he was let right in and we got sent packing.
RUSSIAN DANCING:
In an old blog I mentioned that we went out one night with some girls that were taking an english course.  We had a good time, went for a few drinks, practiced some english and some russian.  Each of these girls carried a russian english dictionary to help with their translation.  After a while, one girl pulled out the dictionary and told me ‘you dance very…sincerely’.  Since i already know how bad my dancing skills are there was no way I could take that as a compliment.  She had a dancing style of something like interpretive trance so I hit her right back with ‘you dance very…expressively’.  She smiled, said thank you.  she won.

ORDERING DRINKS:

I’ve mentioned a few times how the russian language can be a bit overwhelming and I find I really have to concentrate when ordering food, or getting groceries so that I say it right and get what I need. In certain situations though I get a bit mixed up when i’m in over my head or if i think about what i’m going to say too much.  Ordering drinks at the bar is tough because it’s loud, you have to be agressive with your order, you have to speak up so they can hear you (and mostly so they don’t have to ask you any more questions if you’re vague).  To order one drink is not so bad, you get that drink down in your head and you look like a pro at the bar.  A couple of times, however, you decide to buy a round for some buddies.  Of course they’re not going to just order the same drink as you so you have to keep all these drinks straight in your head in english, then convert to russian and what happens to me is I end up mixing differnt languages together.  Surprsingly it’s not a mix of english and russian, it has turend out to be russian and spanish.  The couple times it’s happened it’s been the same drink order.  A beer, two rum and cokes and red label and water.  I get through most of it but when it comes to saying water i’ve, twice now, ordered Agua which is 1 of 8 spanish words i know.  Then throw in a couple good ol’ english curses and try again as the waitress either tries to keep a straight face or can’t understand my multi-language order.

THE GIRLS:

The clubs usually have a couple local working girls trying to attract some business, so you gotta be careful but the other week I had one of the women of the night come up to me and in very good english say ‘I genuinely like you’.  I was flattered.  For her not to know me at all and have such strong feelings.  Maybe i am the Canadian Hugh Grant after all (inside joke).

Learning the Ropes (Originally posted: Dec 11/2010)

This post is way overdue but I’ve been keeping busy and haven’t had much downtime.  I went on a couple more trips to remote Russian locations, one in Siberia and one on the west side of the Euro mountains, technically not Siberia but it might as well be.  This one, Usinsk, is in the extreme north of Russia and at least 20 degrees C colder than Tyumen.  It was a smaller town, much like Grande Prairie, everything and everyone there has to do with oilfield.  My tasks there will be a little more challenging as my company recently acquired a local oilfield services group and we are now responsible to ease their transition.  As expected, the local Russian employees were quite happy working for their previous company and are resistant in changing their ways and integrating with a large corporation.  So I will be dealing with plenty of disgruntled, russian laborers who won’t know enough english to tell me to get lost, but are very good at it in Russian.

The flights to and from these remote locations are a test to say the least.  The planes, similar to the one I first came over to Siberia in, are built for a purpose and not for comfort.  I see the cost cutting measures everywhere,  fold down seats, escape ropes instead of a slide and on this flight I saw another one.  A stewardess walks down the aisle before the flight and hands out the puke bags ONLY to the people who think they might need it.  I guess there’s no point for everyone to have one, plus i’m sure there’s people who go on to flights and hoard all the vomit bags so they bring them home for their family, that’s just wasteful.  Also, if you don’t give someone a bag it will probably encourage them not to get sick on a flight…it’s all psychological anyways.
After arriving and waiting for my ride or before departing, the locals can instantly tell I’m not Russian (I was told today it’s because of my hair, No Russian would ever have their hair in a state like mine) and because i’m usually on the phone talking in english.  They watch me closely and most of them laugh with their friends after seeing me as I’m sure they’re saying…’ This town is in the middle of nowhere, I grew up here, I’m from here…What the efff are you doing here?!?’  In these small towns they also have people who check your bag tags to see if you took the right luggage, not a bad idea.  This last trip I had forgotten about this on my way out and this lady, who was not dressed in any offical clothing/outift, started walking into my path on my way out.  I wasn’t thinking about my bag tags so i just tried to move away from her and closer to the door and she kept cutting me off.  She wasn’t saying anything, in Russian or english or even grunting, to me and just held her hand out to block my way.  She had to actually corner me against the wall and as I was about to pull out a triple deke spin move to get by I realized what she was looking for.  Crisis averted.

The hotel I stayed at had two prices for rooms, a price for locals and a price for foreigners.  Apparently it’s some sort of ‘You are going to be a hassle for us’ fee.  A novel idea but it probably wouldn’t go over well in North America.  I dined with some of the location bosses at night, it’s basically their responsibility to keep the foreigners fed and alive during their stay in the area as we wouldn’t be able to manage to well on our own. I have now had the pleasure of being involved first hand in the vodka experience of Russia, it is not a stereotype.  I found out it is very common to have bottle(s) of vodka on the table during a meal. 

Unfortunately, this happened on each of the 4 nights I was in this town…and it’s not for sipping.  The custom is for everyone to have a full shot glass and each person takes turns throughout the dinner to make toasts and finish it off by downing your drink.  It’s frowned upon if you don’t finish the shot in one take.  Thankfully, this is one of my strengths and I represented Canada well.  One night we went out and played a few round of Russian Billiards.  A slightly different game than I was used to, bigger table, bigger balls, smaller pockets and all the balls, save for one, are white.  I asked the rules of the game and was answered with ‘Hit Ball, It not hard’.   I proved them wrong, it’s easy enough to hit the ball but you have to hit those pockets dead on, you can’t rely on bouncing them in off the sides of the pocket as I’ve always been used to.  I took a few beatings but should fair better next time.

In this town, Usinsk, we had taken a drive out to one of our even more remote bases.  It was an hour or so north of the town and we came up to the monument indicating we were at the edge of the polar circle which lies at 66 degrees latitude and the marks the start of the Arctic.  I’m pleased to say I’ve been that far north as I didn’t have the chance to cross that in Canada but now that I’ve seen it I hope to be in that area as little as possible.  I’m now back in Tyumen and am hopefully staying put until the holiday season but I won’t bet on it.  It’s been made quite clear I will be spending a significant amount of time in these isolated towns.  I’ve attached a few more photos that show the good, bad and odd parts of my experience here. I’ll have another post shorty which will delve into more of the social life topics.

cheers,

Originally posted Nov. 20/2010

I’ve made it back from my weekend getaway to Seattle but the 12hour change there and then back a few days later really took its toll on me.  I think I have finally gotten over the jet lag feeling from the trip and am now back on Russian time.

The trip to Seattle was short but it was good to see the family and finally experience a non-traditional ‘designer’s’ wedding.  Great food, great people, but no cake.  I had to make a speech at the wedding in honor of my brother and, as most of you know, speaking in public (or even just speaking) is not one of my strengths.  Thank goodness for the non-traditional quick and dirty wedding speeches.  The meat of my speech was a story that was very near to my heart and talked about diarrhea and vomiting (there was a point to the story).  I was very nervous coming up to the wedding as I knew this is not a normal, and encouraged, topic to discuss at a wedding (especially since I had not had the chance to meet anyone that was going to be attending the wedding, beyond my family).   As with most weddings the speeches take place after the meal so I thought I’d probably offend some people but wouldn’t ruin anyone’s appetite.  I found out 10 minutes before making the speech that I was wrong and my speech was going to happen right before the food was served.  I was all of a sudden in a position to take the reception down right off the bat.  It worked out though and the audience was able to get through the rough bits, enjoy the humour, and see the point of the speech.  The point was that Dawn, my brother’s wife, was very kind and caring and that mike just another kruzeniski asshole.  I think it worked.

Now I am back in Russia and the temperature is slowly going down and snow is starting to cover the streets.  I’m already missing the new orleans weather and will soon be in the middle of the winters I’d grown up in.  The problem with this city during winter is that they’ve created all the sidewalks with tile and bricks.  Once the snow falls it turns all walking areas into virtual skating rinks.  I know I still have to get used to winter again but this is at a level I’ve never experience in Canada.  Everyone is always on the verge of losing their grip and going down hard.  I cringe as I watch the elderly walk at a pace of one step every 2 minutes while holding the wall of a nearby building in an attempt to fight off their next  replacement. The women have it figured out though, they all wear upwards of 17″ high heels that dig into the ground and make it impossible to slip.   I watch in amazement as they run down the street with these death spikes anchoring them in the ice until I lose focus and hit the ground. I’m debating going half-tranny and sporting some of these heels so I can make it home from work.

I’ve put up a few pictures of the apartment so you can see the unique look it has to offer.  The landlord has been helpful with the move into his apartment but the problem with moving into someone’s personal apartment is that he is always showing up randomly to work on some of the things he hasn’t quite finished yet.  The usual 24hr heads up I was used to in North America is really followed here.  It’s not really a problem but he always likes to chat for a while and seems to forget everytime that I don’t speak Russian.  He’ll ask me something in Russian and after I shake my head showing that I have no idea what he’s saying he goes into a longer explanation in Russia to try and clear things up.  I usually have to throw my hands and remind him that I don’t speak Russian.  A few more Russian sentences later and I think he figures it out, until next time.

The person who helped me find my apartment is also an english teacher and has a class of University aged students who are interested in learning the language.  She told me when I first arrived that they like to meet people who speak english so they can practice.  Yesterday, she asked if it was alright with me if she gave my phone number to some of the girls in the class who wanted to meet me.  well……ok.  i guess that would alright.’ One of the students called me today and it looks like a few of us are going to meet up later for dinner.  There had better not be any funny business when I meet up with them.  If they’re not there to learn then I’m leaving.
poka!

p.s. thanks for all the replies/comments.

I need a Siberia (Originally posted: Nov. 9/2010)

My first journey into Siberia is almost complete as I will soon be back on the train to ‘civilization’ in Tyumen (Big City Siberia).  I found out right before I came here from my non-Russian coworkers that taking the train would be a terrible idea.  I had a hard time getting them to stop laughing at me for agreeing to take the train as they said ‘You’ll definitely get to Siberia but not where you planned.’  One of the guys who has worked here for a couple years said he would never take the train because they don’t understand english and will not tell you when/where to get off the train.  I was able to get a Russian speaking coworker to drop me off at the train station and tell the stewardess ‘This guy doesn’t speak Russian, he needs water, kick him off the train at town of Pyt-Yakh’.  Everything worked out fine and I made it here.

It was a busy week of work, training some of the employees that are going for promotion, learning the ‘Russian way’ of our line of work, touring the base and looking for ways to improve our operations.  A select few of the employees know english so it becomes very challenging holding meetings in a room where almost no one can understand what you’re saying.  The base here wanted to take advantage of me being here to help teach some newer employees and I found out their trick to keeping me here for long hours…The only way to get back to the apartment is to take a taxi and the drivers don’t speak english so I had to wait until a Russian coworker left to share a ride with him/her.  very effective.

Another interesting thing about Russia is that they like to track all the foreign people in their country.  Aside from the Visa, work permit and migration card I needed to receive before I could work here I have to register everytime I leave a leave/enter a city in Russia.  ALso, moving from hotel to apartment requires registration.  Not being used to that I’m worried I’ll forget  and be hit with a $25k reminder fee.  All documents have to be on your person all the time or you’ll end up peeling potatoes in Gulag.  A friend  of mine got arrested for standing near a guy that the police were after and I imagine it’s very hard to talk your way out of a situation without knowing any Russian.  I’m working very hard to comply and be stealth while i’m here because I don’t want to add Russia to the list of countries i’ve been arrested in.

Next step is to head back to the city and board a plane for Seattle on Thursday.  See y’all Stateside.

The Journey Further into Siberia (Originally posted: Nov. 3/2010)

I will be boarding a train this evening to travel further into Siberia.  This will be closer to the real, stereotypical Siberian experience but not all the way just yet.  I think they’re plan is to ease me into it and reduce the shock and i’m fine with that.  I’ve found that even though I’m technically the only person in this position here and am responsible for all of Russia that I will primarily be dealing with three locations.  Nefteyugansk, Usinsk and Astrakhan.  I will split my time between the office in Tyumen and these other locations.  My first project is to go to Nefteyugansk and determine their compliance level with our standards and policies, to train their engineers for promotions and to help set up our satellite communications system in that base.  It will be a busy trip and even though I’m anxious to work out there, I look forward to coming back to Tyumen because a day later I’ll be boarding a plane for Seattle.  All in all, with this train ride and the return flights to Seattle…I should rack up about 80 hours of travel time in the next two weeks.  I’m less excited about that face.
On the Tyumen homefront, I have finally moved out of my hotel and into my apartment.  The story, told by the landlord,  was that it was his personal project when he purchased the apartment many years back.  Later on, he was divorced from his wife and decided to build this place for his own personal bachelor pad.  As he neared completion, however, he found a new love and moved in together with her.  That put this place up on the market without even being lived in.   perfect timing for me.  There are still some imperfections with the place and he has some of the oddest color choices (as pictures will soon support) but it has plenty of space and a different look to it than any other place I was shown.
The other subject I haven’t touched on is Russian cuisine.  The food here is decent, nothing overly inedible but also nothing that really has me coming back for more.  People from work have often taken me to this pizza place close by and I attempt to try different ingredients each time but one that I’ve stayed away from is described as Pizza with ‘Beef’s Neck’.  It doesn’t even make sense and that’s an extra reason for me not to taste it.  Most local restaurants have a few traditional Russian items such as Borscht, fish, blinis for breakfast and then lots of different styles/parts of meat.  Fills the stomach but doesn’t get my mouth watering.  Although, I did have some soup this weekend, while smoking some Sheesha at 5am after a night out and it was heaven.  I can only describe the flavor as ‘hot dog soup’ but it was delicious.  Maybe it was the vodka, maybe the Sheesha.  I’ll try to narrow it down next time.  Since there are a lot of foreign people who work and travel here, they have a few Americanized places to eat, also some Irish pubs, etc.  I usually get lunch from a place near work that has some long Russian name to it but when you open up the door, it’s identical to Subway, with pictures of NYC on it.  There are no Subway signs anywhere so either they’re not allowed to call it Subway here or it’s a very good spin-off.  I learn a lot of my Russian while they build my sub, I never thought Subway could be such a valuable learning institution.
Off to learn more Russian…so long

Happy Halloween (Originally posted: Oct 29/2010)

I met a co-worker the other day and his english was fairly good but sometimes words came out of his mouth that made absolutely no sense to me. Blame it on the accent or the translation from Russian to English. In those difficult to understand times, I got by with nodding my head, smiling and laughing if he laughed first. Well, 45 minutes later I realize this guy is a talker and it only ended because I went for a pre-emptive laugh when I thought he was saying something humorous, turns out he wasn’t and he couldn’t understand why I was laughing. During the uncomfortable pause I took one last sip of my already finished coffee, looked at my arm where my watch should have been and told I should get back to work. All in all, it was a good discussion.

Note: To everyone I’ve had discussions with, especially from other countries, this isn’t how I deal with all conversations but sometimes you find you’re already in over you head and it’s better to go with it instead of saying you don’t understand.

Tonight my boss is hosting a Halloween party, which is set up mostly for the Ex-pats since this holiday isn’t celebrated the same way here, or most places in the world, than it is in North America. The biggest problem I have to face is finding a costume which hasn’t been successul so far. Since they don’t really celebrate it there are no costume shops. I’ve toured around the malls and either I’ll have to splurge on a official Russian Kickboxing outfit from a sportsstore or just wear my Team Canada hockey jersey (of course I brought it.)

Moscow: The Prologue (Originally posted Oct. 24/2010)

Эдравствуйте!
I have made it through my first week in Russia.  Half of my time was spent in Moscow and the other half in the city I’ll be working in, Tyumen.
In the beginning, I was more excited to arrive in Moscow as opposed to this smaller city in West Siberia.  The drive from the airport to my hotel in the core of Moscow, changed my mind a bit and got me worried about my time in Russia.  Moscow, to me, seemed a very dirty city.  There are no houses in the greater city, only high rise apartment buildings and most of them look as though they’re about to come crashing down.
Since I got in on a Saturday I figured I would go out that night and find some place to have a few drinks, see what kind of solo-trouble I could get into but exhaustion from the 10 hour flight got the best of me.  On Sunday, I took advantage a long night’s sleep and spent the whole day walking around the middle of the city.  Unfortunately, I had gotten rid of my old winter clothing while I was living in New Orleans.  This made the brisk +5C weather, which I was not used to anymore, a little harder to deal with than it should have.
I was supposed to be in Moscow for about 5 days and had plenty of time to get my paperwork I toured around the Red Square and decided to hop on a tour bus which did a 2 hour drive around to the most popular tourist spots.  From there, I figured I could get a good idea of what I wanted to see in greater detail.  As it turned out, I had to spend most of Monday on work errands and was able to leave to Tyumen much earlier than expected.  I will have to make it back to Moscow someday to continue my sightseeing.
It was an entertaining and frustrating experience getting around in the airport in Moscow for my flight to Tyumen.  As big of a international tourist and business city as Moscow is, the english (especially at the airports) does not exist.  It could have partly been due to the fact that I was flying on a small airline but in the end the Airline agent convinced me, through a serious of angry gestures and intense Russian words, I could get through security and board the plane with a excess baggage document.  Security quickly turned me around and I spent another half hour getting them to issue me a real boarding pass.  I don’t think I should have had to argue for one but I guess that’s how they deal with english speaking clients.  Good luck to those coming to the olympics in 2014!!!
The plane ride to Tyumen had me thinking twice about the decision I made to move out here.  It was a tin can plane, fold down seats, and the way to escape in an emergency was by using an ‘Escape Rope’.  The seats had a natural decline once someone sat in them, I spent the whole flight with my knees digging into the back of the passenger in front of me.  By far the most uncomfortable flight of my life.  I was told at work that Russian’s believe the older the plane is, the more reliable it is…and that Russia has a lot of reliable planes.  Can’t wait for the next trip.
My worries were subdued when I drove into the city that I was going to be living in for upwards of 3 years.  It is a charming, simple city with a river curving through it.  The population is stated to be about 600k but it has the feel of a much smaller community.  I will live and work and find all my needs met within walking distance, soon i’ll be moving out of the hotel and into an apartment where I can finally unpack and begin settling down.  Work has been the best surprise of all, as I am excited about the position I will hold and the opportunities and challenges it will present.  Everyone I’ve dealt with in the office has been extremely helpful, I’ve been told that this city loves having foreign people in town.  They are eager to meet you, learn where you’re from and use you to help them improve their english.  Schlumberger Russia takes extremely good care of its Ex-Pats, to the point of spoiling us but I won’t complain.
I have already caught the interest of some of the Schlumberger wives, something I’ve learned over the years that I’m quite good at.  It’s the Kruzeniski charm.  They tell me that I will enjoy my time in Tyumen and the message I kept getting was ‘Dave, you are handsome….BUT, I am married and have two children’.  On a different day I was told that the Russians do indeed love foreigners but that I had a Russian look to me so people would come up to me and try to speak Russian.  When they realized I could not speak Russian they would just think I was dumb.  So i guess time will tell which outcome presents itself.
There is very little english in this city and much of my non-work day to day operations get completed with a lot of pointing and me saying ‘Ya Nye Gavaryu Paruski’ – I don’t speak Russian.  The other day I bought a jacket and the lady at the counter realized I didn’t speak Russian but figured the coat was too big for me.  She made gestures trying to show that she thought it was too big and I took it as her asking if it was big enough.  The confusion led her to thinking I wanted a smaller jacket but I thought I was telling her it was fine.  It took about 5 minutes and many awkward, clueless looks between the two of us…and the crew of Russian’s in the line behind me snickering to finally get everything sorted out.  This will continue to be a struggle for a while as the language is very difficult to learn.
Can’t wait to see where it goes from here….
Dave
This is my first ‘blog’ so forgive my rookie mistakes and loads of extra, useless details.  Below are some pictures I’ve taken, I have to work harder at pulling out the camera more often.