How Russia got the Olympics (and other events)

I was talking with a local the other day and we ended up discussing how Russia all of a sudden will be hosting a range of world sporting events such as...

2014 Olympics in Socchi
2016 Ice Hockey World Cup
2018 FIFA World Cup

I couldn't think of any events recently held in Russia and was asking if it was strange that now three very large events will be here in a span of 7 years.  Turns out there was a very simple explanation.  Many people in the international community are certain the world will be ending soon, whether through the Mayan prediction or the next rapture, etc. so these decision committees said....

'Screw it, we're all going to be dead anyways.  Let's give them to Russia.'

Harassment at Mcdonalds

I broke down today and joined the Mcdonalds craze that seems to have a hold of this city.  The lineups to the registers inside as well as the outdoor walk-up window remind me of Tim Horton's back home.  In a desperate move for food at a late hour before starting the overnight shift at work I hit the walk-up window and placed my order with the fewest required words possible. 

After a few practice runs in my head of what I needed to say to order what I wanted I was ready and as long as the McEmployee listened to me there wouldn't be a problem.  Today, however, I got the guy who felt like throwing some questions into the middle of my practiced order.  He completely caught me offguard and I lost my focus so after taking a  moment to come up with a response to a question i didn't understand I gave up and told him I don't speak Russian. 

He knew a bit of english and his translation of the question turned out be 'boy or girl?' I started thinking.....

1)  I thought my gender was obvious enough
2) When did asking your gender become part of the ordering process?

I felt emasculated but refused to answer his question and simply repeated my order in a deeper voice.  That seemed to work. 

I realized later that maybe he thought I ordered a kids happy meal or something where the toy that comes with it is gender specific.  This makes the most sense to me but still not sure how he would hear me order that as the Russian pronunciation of Big Mac is ..wait for it....Big Mac. 

Medical Mythbusters

I had to visit the med clinic the other day for a vaccination and I inadvertently went through a round of Russian Mythbusters. 

Myth:  It's only a vaccine, it will be easy
Fact:  no, it won't.    BUSTED

Myth:  The doctors don't speak english but the receptionists do. No need for a translator.
Fact:  Three receptionists, no English.  Always hire a translator.        BUSTED


Myth:  If the doctor hands you a thermometer and just to make sure on where it goes you point at the thermometer, then at your mouth and doctor nods her head to confirm, then be confident that's where it goes.
Fact:  The thermometer goes in your armpit.  Where were you on that one translator???  BUSTED

Myth:  Be concerned of where that thermometer had been before you put it in your mouth.
Fact:  yes, be very concerned.     CONFIRMED

Russian Lesson of the Day

If you find this sign informative you are not allowed to use the bathroom in my apartment.  

Russian Lesson of the Day

There's really no point to bumper cars....unless they have guns